One Crazy Outing
by Spartan-Guy 88
Summary: It's another romance story with Lazlo and Patsy, but this time with much more humor. Chapter Six finally added.
1. Chapter 1

-1_**One Crazy Outing**_

_By: Hyper Spartan_

**DISCLAIMER: ****I DO NOT OWN CAMP LAZLO, JOE MURRAY DOES. BUT IF I DID OWN CAMP LAZLO, THEN IT WOULD PROABABLY BE LESS FUNNY THAN WHAT MURRAY WOULD HAVE IMAGINED. UGH, I HATE HAVING TO WRITE THIS PART ON EVERY STORY I DO. I'D ASK SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR ME, BUT I'M JUST REALLY LAZY. SERIOUSLY, I EVEN ARGUED WITH MYSELF OVER TYPING THIS PART, AND I LOST. ANYWAY, ENJOY THE STORY.**

_**CHAPTER ONE: "WHAT TIME SHOULD WE MEET?"**_

On one sunny afternoon at a piece of nature gone wild, better known as Leaky Lake, both Bean and Squirrel Scouts of Camp Kidney and Acorn Flats were walking away from the small, outdoor theatre near Camp Kidney. Above the stage was a large banner that read, "Annual Onion Appreciation Day Arm Wrestling Tournament."

It appears as if the medal ceremony has just concluded, as two Bean Scouts (A Brazilian spider monkey named Lazlo, and a white feathered platypus named Edward) along with one Squirrel Scout (A green skinned alligator named Gretchen) each had a medal around their neck. Gretchen came out on top as the winner of the gold medal, just like the last two years' contests, with Edward wearing the silver medal, and Lazlo wearing the bronze medal. Speaking of Lazlo, he was walking alongside his two best friends, an Indian Elephant named Raj and an Albino Pygmy Rhino named Clam, as they and every other scout made their way to the after-competition buffet table.

"Wow, that sure was one heck of a competition wasn't it guys?" Lazlo asked his comrades. Clam yelled, "One to remember!" "Yes, it certainly will be one to remember;" Raj stated, "Who know that Edward's arm could bend that way?" Lazlo chuckled a bit then said, "Yeah and that high pitched scream he did while doing that was really cool. He's very talented."

The three Beans, whom were better known by pretty much everyone as "The Jellies," finally made it to the buffet area, where every scout was already grabbing something to eat. "Clam go back to cabin. Not hungry." Clam said. Both Lazlo and Raj were pretty startled by this, it's certainly something they never expect from Clam when he's in front of food. Clam saw this and explained very briefly, "Already ate."

Back in the Scoutmaster's cabin, Scoutmaster Lumpus the moose went into his office, sighed, and then said, "Finally, those miscreants are done with their stupid competition." He walked over to his closet, opened it, and pulled out a box about as big as a TV. On the side of it read "Salsa Chips." "Now, I can finally enjoy my delighted chips in peace." He opened the box and saw that it was empty, not a sing chip remained. Lumpus screamed in agony of what he saw.

Meanwhile, Clam brushed his fingers off from what appeared to be salt and started to head back to the cabin. Lazlo and Raj just decided to shrug it off and walked over to the tables to join everyone else.

Several minutes later, everyone was just sitting at their tables, eating, talking with their friends, just doing their own thing. Lazlo was just in the middle of telling Raj about the time they, along with Clam, played that game of "Haunted Mansion" in their cabin; that is, until they were interrupted by a girl's voice that said into the air, "Hey Lazlo." They knew whose voice that was, they turned and saw a pink haired and brown furred Squirrel Scout who goes by the name Patsy Smiles. She sat down next to Lazlo and smiled in a very flirty way, something Lazlo was pretty oblivious to. Raj just turned away, he wasn't exactly the kind of elephant boy who likes to talk to girls that much. Lazlo on the other hand, while he didn't really grasp the concept of "love" and "romance," was still a very friendly monkey, and decided to have a conversation with the mongoose.

"Oh hi Patsy. What brings you over to this table?" Patsy replied, "Oh I just wanted to say congrats on getting third place!" Lazlo smirked at her, she then said, "Speaking of that, I was kind of wondering…maybe we can… I mean, if you want to…" Lazlo looked at her curiously, "Yes…" Patsy finally said, "Would you like to go to Prickly Pines with me later on and celebrate?"

Everyone else stopped right in the middle of whatever it was that they were doing, looked over at the table Lazlo, Patsy, and Raj were sitting at and gave a collective gasp. They knew this kind of situation first hand, when she asked Lazlo if he would sit next to her on the way back to camp after going on that failed trip to Old Geezer Geyser.

Raj had a bit of a shocked look on his face at first, but since he was still turning away from the two scouts, he put a little smile on his face and thought to himself, "_Easy Raj, we've all been through this before. I am absolutely certain that Lazlo wouldn't make the same mistake twice in a-"_

"That sounds great Patsy! What time should we meet?" Lazlo said. This caused an uproar amongst the other scouts, save Raj whom had a face that looked as if he just ate a lemon that was loaded with sour candy. Every other scout screamed and panicked. Soon enough they started to run around like a bunch of wild, crazy individuals. The Bean Scouts ran as fast as they could to their cabins, while the Squirrel Scouts ran to the dock to get into their small cruise boat, either way, both groups were terrified.

Despite all of this commotion, Lazlo and Patsy were either both very oblivious to what just happened, or they both have a serious hearing problem. Patsy finally said, "Fantastic! I'll swing by at around, oh say… 5:30 and we'll go into town." "See ya then." Lazlo said as she left to join the other Squirrels.

Lazlo waved her good-bye and looked back at Raj, he finally noticed that Raj had a shocked face and asked, "Hey, are you alright Raj?" Raj finally regained his composure and managed to say, "Lazlo, have you no idea of what you just did?!" Lazlo was quite confused at what he just said. "Whaddya mean?" Raj was irritated at Lazlo now, "Patsy just asked you to go on a…date with her and you said 'yes!'" Lazlo thought about it for a minute, then laughed at what his elephant friend just said and replied, "Oh don't be ridiculous Raj; just because a girl asks a boy to go do something in town with each other doesn't mean it's a date. It's just an outing. Besides, she said she wants to celebrate with me for winning a medal."

While all of that was going on, neither Bean Scout noticed Patsy looking back at the monkey, sighing deeply and romantically with little hearts popping up behind her and saying to herself, "He said yes!"


	2. Chapter 2

-1_**CHAPTER TWO: "I'LL SHOW HIM WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS!"**_

As Lazlo walked to the showers several hours later, at which seemed to have calmed down drastically amongst almost everyone else, Raj followed suit; fruitlessly yet effortful to convince his cabin-mate that this "outing" with Patsy is a "date."

"…Well Lazlo," Raj said, "if this isn't a date then why are you going to get yourself clean then? Huh?!" Lazlo answered, "Well don't we shower every day?" Raj continued his argument with, "And I suppose you're gonna get dressed into a fresh uniform, am I correct?" "Yes…" Lazlo said in a tone saying "Your point is?" Raj tried to sum it up, "So you won't make a bad first date impression!" "No," Lazlo corrected his Indian friend, "because I don't like wearing the same, dirty clothes I was just wearing several minutes ago."

Lazlo then walked into the shower room with a towel at hand. Raj meanwhile stood outside for a minute, gave an agitated sigh and walked off. _"I like that monkey," _he thought to himself, _"but why can't he just get through that furry cranium that this is a DATE?!" _ He then stopped right in his tracks, quickly smirked, ant ran off to Fava Cabin. He now had something up his sleeve…

It was now 4:45 PM, and Lazlo just walked into his cabin. What the naïve monkey didn't know was that Raj was hiding underneath the cabin, waiting for Lazlo to leave to the camp gate. Around his neck was a leather and cloth band, which in turn was connected to a camera that he managed to "borrow" from Dave, one of the loon brothers in charge of the camp newspaper The Bean! He heard two voices from above, one was obviously Lazlo, with the latter voice belonging to Clam.

"Hey Clam," Lazlo's voice said, "I was just- whoa! Were you painting that while Raj and I were gone?" Raj then heard Clam's voice. "Yeah, got bored. What were you saying?" Lazlo continued, "Oh yeah, I'm just getting ready for later. Patsy asked me to go with her to Prickly Pines and celebrate my medal." "That's nice of her." Clam stated. Hearing that really annoyed Raj. Clam, is a mix between Lazlo's naïve personality and Raj's over cautiousness, and for a good majority of the time, Clam usually sided with Lazlo.

"Okay Clam, I gotta get going, good luck with that rest of that painting, you young Michelangelo." Lazlo said as Clam giggled at what his friend just called him. The primate then stepped out of the cabin and headed to the camp gate, where the mongoose Squirrel Scout will later pick him up. Raj meanwhile got into the cabin and started to talk to Clam, "Clam I just want you to know that- SRI LANKA!!!"

Raj looked at where Clam was: tied to a rope near the ceiling of the cabin, with an artist hat on, and several buckets of paint and a paint brush along his side, also tied with rope. On the ceiling was a Jelly Cabin-sized version of the Sistine Chapel. Raj temporarily forgot about his grand scheme and stood there, jaw-dropped to the floor, and his eyes as large as tires on a car.

Clam simply looked down at him and said with a smile, "You like it?" Raj finally managed to regain his composure and replied, "Uh… yes I do Clam. Excellent artwork. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to follow Lazlo now." Clam now had a puzzled face on him, thus leading him to ask, "Why?" "Because, Lazlo is going on what he calls an "outing," while it is obviously a date! And I'm going to follow him around and take pictures of the whole thing. Then I'll be able to show him those snap-shots and compare them with photos of other dates. I'll show him what the difference is!" Raj said as he then laughed very eagerly.

However, just as he's about to walk out the door, he heard Clam hop down from the ceiling, and unbelievably managed to change into a clean Bean Scout uniform in under two seconds. Raj turned around, and saw that Clam was giving him the dreaded "sad-puppy face." It took about thirty seconds before Raj figured out what it meant: With Lazlo and Raj gone, Clam was going to be alone for quite some time. Raj sighed and asked in a bit of an unenthusiastic tone, "Clam, would you like to come with me?"

About a split second later, Clam had an excited face on him, picked up Raj as though he was a pillow, and ran out the door and towards his log car at the speed of light, with Raj screaming at the top of his lungs.

While all of this was going on, Lazlo was still waiting over by the camp gate, waiting for his partner to arrive. He was in the middle of whistling a very peculiar show tune (The Camp Lazlo intro song) when he heard a girl's voice calling to him. "Hey Lazlo, over here!" He turned around and saw Patsy coming up to him. "Oh hey Patsy!" Lazlo called back to her. "Well, now that you're here, what should we do first, I mean, after we get to town anyway?"

Patsy paused a minute, after staring dreamily at him, then perked up and said, "Oh uh… oh yeah, I thought a movie would sound good. But I can't decide on one of these three." Patsy pulled out a piece of newspaper that had movie listings on it, such as "Universe Conflict 2: The Doughnuts Strike Forward," or "Revenge of the Toilet Plungers." Lazlo looked at the listings for a while then said, "I don't know, we'll decide when we get there." "Oh, alright then, let's get going then." Patsy said while trying her very hardest to not squeal out loud. Then again, you can't really blame her for going out with the boy of her dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

-1_**CHAPTER THREE: "FORGET THE DANG MANUAL!" **_

After much persuasion, Clam finally calmed down about tagging along with Raj and his quest to "expose Lazlo." The two Jellies have finally reached Clam's log car. After walking straight up the side of it, somehow defying Newton's Laws of Physics, Raj climbed into the passenger seat while Clam took the wheel of his ride.

As Raj strapped his helmet on and secured Dave's camera, he told Clam, who was also strapping himself in place, "Alright Clam, we need to get to Prickly Pines before Lazlo and Patsy so we can follow them from there. Do you think you can do that in the knick of time?" Raj then expected an answer, but surprisingly enough, he got none. Clam for one reason or another just continued to stare off in the distance in the direction of the town.

"Hello?" Raj asked, trying to get his attention. Suddenly Clam slowly turned his head around, with a stern but serious look on his face, pulled out a pair of sunglasses, slipped them on and said, "…Just watch me." And with that, he pedaled with all of his might into the woods.

Their log car was now clearly going the speed of a race car. While Clam was having the time of his life driving like a maniac, Raj meanwhile was holding on for his dear life. He felt the strap on the camera come loose, leading him to hold onto it like how a mother would with her baby. He knew that if something happened to that camera, Dave would practically make Raj's life full of pain and horror, by posting a humiliating article in his and Ping Pong's newspaper about Raj's two belly buttons. He knew that Samson the guinea pig already gave that away, but the loons would make it a lot worse.

Raj was screaming -no- begging at Clam to slow down. "CLAM SLOW DOWN! WATCH OUT FOR THAT- AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

After a good two minutes of reckless driving, Clam finally stopped just outside of Prickly Pines. Clam turned to see Raj, pulled the sunglasses off of his face, immediately putting his happy face back on and said, "We're here!" Raj couldn't care less wherever they were, he was just happy to be alive…

_**Meanwhile…**_

The pair of children consisting of a Brazilian spider monkey Bean Scout and the mongoose Squirrel Scout were about ten minutes away from Prickly Pines. Patsy felt it was wise to at least have a conversation with Lazlo to keep their minds from going insane from boredom. "Say Lazlo, I heard that you and the Beans accidentally got our scouting manual several weeks ago."

This certainly got the monkey's attention. "Oh, um… yeah we did. I really prefer not to talk about what happened with us and that book." Lazlo said, remembering the grand mistakes he and his fellow Beans made while operating under the rule of the once believed "New Edition Bean Scout Manual." Then Lazlo remembered something, "Wait, did you read that rule about the Squirrels having to avoid the Beans yet?" Patsy's face changed from curious to a bit of annoyance." Ugh, yes, and I absolutely hate that rule! In fact, I hate the rules and guidelines in that manual all together! Well… maybe except for that part with the underwater hair makeover."

Lazlo was now sparked with intense curiosity. "Really, why do you hate it all together?" "Ooh, just the parts about us having to do all of that girly stuff just makes my skin boil!" Patsy replied, "But the rule that I hate the most is the one where we have to avoid you and the other Bean Scouts because "they're icky!" I mean, we hang with you guys practically on a weekly basis, and nothing overly terrible has happened to us." Patsy was getting her point well across to her target audience. "I know that the Beans and Squirrels of Leaky Lake have their differences and that we don't exactly see eye-to-eye all the time, but that does not remove the right to see each other if we want to!"

Lazlo couldn't believe what she was saying, yet he couldn't agree more. "You know what Patsy, you're absolutely right!" Patsy didn't expect this as a response. "I am?" She quickly cleared her throat, "I mean… yes exactly!" Patsy lowered her tone a bit, "And… that's also kind of the reason I asked you if we can do something together tonight Lazlo: to show to everyone that a Bean and a Squirrel doing something isn't harmful at all."

Lazlo and Patsy then each took a deep sigh, and decided to just keep going to Prickly Pines together. After about another minute of walking, Lazlo then asked, "So uh… we're going to the movie theater first right?" Patsy looked back at him and said, "Oh right, yeah we are. And I think I've found a good movie too. It's called _The Everything You Could Ever Want in a Movie: The Movie._"

**Well, that's it for this chapter ladies and gents. What'll be in store for the next chapter? Another alien invasion? Raining doughnuts? The wrath of educational television? All of these… are probably not gonna happen, but stay tuned anyway!**


	4. Chapter 4

-1_**CHAPTER FOUR: "IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN!"**_

**Author's Note: ****Yes, I know, it's been a while since I've last updated. But I'm dealing with one crappy computer at home and I've got to rely on another computer to get this uploaded. I'm really sorry about the delay; I've made this chapter a bit longer than the other ones to compensate for the length of time. Enjoy.**

Prickly Pines, a small rural town, nothing too special. This is also one of the areas that the Beans and Squirrels of Leaky Lake occasionally compete with each other, usually fiercely, to see which camp is better than the latter. As it stands, it's about even at the time. Yet that changed that night, when two campers, each one representing their respective camps, were not coming to compete for the pride of their camp, or cash; they were just there to have a good time.

Lazlo and Patsy had finally reached the movie theater after entering town. There was quite a big line in front of them, full of other citizens of Prickly Pines wanting to go see a motion picture on a large screen after a hard day's work.

"Looks like we're in for a long wait Patsy." Lazlo said with a mix of marginal annoyance, and an ever greater amount of coolness. Patsy was trying her best to keep her cool however. Let's face it: she is going to the movie theater, one of the three perfect dating locations, with the boy of her dreams.

Lazlo noticed that she was having a bit of a giggling fit and asked, "Hey are you alright Patsy? You seem a bit… shaky tonight." Patsy managed to regain her composure and replied, "I-I'm fine, r-r-really Lazlo I'm f-fine!" Before Lazlo could say anything else, a theater employee heard them, walked up to them and asked, "Hey wait a minute, did she say your name was 'Lazlo?'"

Lazlo and Patsy glanced at each other; they certainly were not expecting this kind of greeting. Lazlo looked back at the employee and said, "Yes… my name is Lazlo, a Bean Scout from Camp Kidney." The employee then said, "That means you took seventh place in the Prickly Pines "Make a Sculpture Out of Odd Little Twigs" contest! Didn't you get the prizes?"

Lazlo didn't know what he was talking about. "What prizes, all I got was a certificate." "Oh man," the employee stated, "They must have got lost in the mail. Every contestant in that contest receives a free pass for four at both the movie theater and Beef Lumberjacks! Since you didn't get your prize I'm gonna let you and your friend in for free!"

This certainly put a smile on both scouts' faces. "Wow, thanks sir! Can you give the other two seats for the next two kids in line?" "Absolutely. Now go on in and enjoy the movie." The employee said as Lazlo and Patsy walked into the theater.

Meanwhile, at the very end of the line, two other scouts started shoving and pushing their way to the front. It was none other than Raj and Clam. They've heard Lazlo's gift to two other kids in line for free movie passes, and this may be their only chance to get into the theater with Lazlo and Patsy.

When the rhino and Indian elephant got to the front of the line, Raj said to the employee, "Excuse me? We heard that the next two children in line could get in for free…" "V.I.P. list." Clam said in spite of randomness. The employee sighed and said, "Fine just go on in."

During the little fiasco at the line, Lazlo and Patsy each had a bucket of popcorn and a large cup of soda; they were walking down the hall to their theater where their movie was going to play. They bought their snacks thanks to taking some of Scoutmaster Lumpus' life savings. Seeing as how he used it to buy a ton of ice cream at one point in his life, Lazlo figured that it would be all right if he borrowed some as well.

The two passed a sign promoting another movie called _When Dads Become Wimpy Girls. _Lazlo suddenly paused when he saw the title of the movie and shouted, "Holy cow! I forgot about your dad!" "What about my dad?" Patsy asked very curiously. Lazlo nervously answered, "No offense Patsy, but you know how paranoid he gets between you and boys he doesn't know about-" He was cut off by the mongoose.

"Relax Lazlo there's nothing to worry about. He's off at a convention for tough commanders in Illinois. From where we are, it'll take him weeks to get there." Lazlo was perplexed at this, "Why will it take weeks?" Patsy calmly and smoothly replied, "As his daughter, I know that he is horrible with directions. Trust me; he's no where near here. I keep telling him that it's a good idea to ask for directions… I say we just don't think about him and have a good time here."

Lazlo took in a deep breath, exhaled, and has calmed down a bit; "You're right Patsy, we're here to have some fun. Now let's hurry, the movie is gonna start soon!" As Lazlo ran off, Patsy followed behind him. She stared at him very dreamily and thought to herself, _"I can't believe it. Not only are we gonna see a movie together, but he believes in me too!_

Further back the hallway, Raj and Clam were also making their way to the theater while following Lazlo and Patsy from a safe distance. Raj had the camera's strap still around his neck, and underneath his shirt; because of the general rule that no cameras are allowed at theatres. As for snacks, while Raj had only a small soda on him, Clam meanwhile had his arms full of soda, popcorn, and candy.

"Wait Raj," Clam said, "How you take picture?" Raj stopped and looked at him with a confused expression on his face. "What do you mean Clam, I just take the lens cap off, aim it at Lazlo and Patsy, and take the picture. It's that simple." Clam shook his head and said, "No, uh… no cameras in theatres!"

Raj explained, "Not to worry Clam, this movie is called _The Everything You Could Ever Want in a Movie: The Movie_, that means there is going to be a space scene, and hopefully a car chase; and that means that there will be flashes every now and then. When the flashes occur, I'll take the picture then, it's the perfect plan!"

Raj then continued down the hall towards the theatre where Lazlo and Patsy were now in, Clam followed along saying to himself, "Clam hopes this movie doesn't stink."

The theatre was by now about half full of people, and it was probably going to stay that way after the four young campers enter. It was either a good movie that was out for a month now, or it was a mediocre movie that has only been out for a week.

Patsy and Lazlo made their way to the near the rear of the room. They both agreed that sitting in the back would give them the best view of the giant screen, with out the displeasure of having to crane their necks up to get a look.

Raj and Clam sat two rows right behind them. Afraid that they would recognize them, they each wore one of these toy glasses with the giant nose and mustache; the ultimate disguise. Clam's however had to be tied onto him largely due to his massive nose and horns, plus he found them uncomfortable.

After everyone was settled in, the lights darkened and the normal message for theatres (No talking, no crying kids, no activated cell phones…) started playing. However, there was one guy who kept talking quite loudly into his cell phone. "So I was all like, 'dude, I knew going down the stairs in nothing but socks was a bad idea…'"

Everyone was clearly annoyed by this, and there was no employee around to take care of him. Patsy however, was the most agitated, this was her one and probably only chance to go out with Lazlo, and she was not going to let some random loudmouth ruin it for them. She got up, walked down to the man with the cell phone, grabbed him by the ear, and dragged him out into the hallway with surprisingly little effort.

After about two minutes, she came back in the theatre and took her seat next to Lazlo, followed by the everyone in the theatre cheering and applauding her for her necessary actions. After things simmered down a bit, Lazlo asked, "What did you do to that guy?" "Oh nothing serious," Patsy replied, "We just had a little talk about the importance of people's entertainment needs and the rudeness of a loudmouth."

In a closet not too far away from the theatre was the man tied up with tape over his mouth and clearly beaten to a pulp struggling to break free of the rope. And next to him was a crushed cell phone.

The previews were now over and the feature presentation was now rolling on the screen. Raj had his (well not his but Dave's) camera ready for action scenes and car chases. Clam meanwhile still had his arms full of the snacks he got from the counter. He was certainly pleased that he managed to get candy out of it. Back at Camp Kidney, there is quite a stand against sugared sweets. Chef McMuesli, Scoutmaster Lumpus, and even Slinkman were against campers having candy in camp. Therefore, this was a perfect chance to have some without the powers above him knowing about it.

At long last, the movie started to play, and the title did not disappoint the viewers. The audience laughed when something funny happened, they looked as though they were about to puke when the gory parts came on (especially if they involved chainsaws or fight scenes a la Kill Bill) screamed when something either scary or suspenseful happened, clapped along with the song during the musical, fell asleep during the poorly directed scenes, had their attention closely fixed during the well directed scenes, and they all cried when a sad moment came into view. All this under the first thirty minutes.

Then the moment of truth came for Raj: a car chase on the top of a space ship during a massive space battle above Saturn… IN 3D!

Raj pulled out his camera aimed it carefully at Lazlo and Patsy, and had his finger ready for when a flash occurred. An explosion flashed on the screen and it lit up the whole room, and Raj took the shot without anyone noticing.

Fifteen minutes later, the movie credits started to roll and the audience began to file out of the room, except for Raj and Clam, who have decided to say behind to review their photo.

"Alright Clam," Raj said with much enthusiasm, "I've got it! Now let's see how it came out…" They both looked at the photo, and each had a confused look on their faces, followed by Raj frowning in a agitated style. The photo didn't quite turn out as how he expected it would. The flash from the screen blinded the lens on the camera, thus making the photo completely white.

With that Raj set the camera down next to Clam, and started to bang his head on a nearby wall while Clam said to himself, "Whatever…" and continued to devour his box of chocolate covered grapes.

Meanwhile, outside of the theatre, Patsy and Lazlo both sat on a bench outside and discussed the movie. "I thought that movie was pretty good," Lazlo said, "Sure some of the lines in it were cheesy, but overall it was not bad. Though I seriously don't know why they put the North Pole in New York City, or why Santa was wearing a SWAT uniform. But at least they managed to save Christmas in the end! How about you Patsy?"

"Oh um…" Patsy paused on her reply, "I liked it, but to me it lacked romance." She was of course hoping to see some major romance scenes where she would then imagine Lazlo and herself in those roles in her mind.

Lazlo then remembered that he also had passes for four for Beef Lumberjacks. "Hey Patsy I've read these Beef Lumberjacks passes, and they expire tonight, we better not put these to waste!" Patsy perked up, a restaurant: number two of the three perfect dating locations.


	5. Chapter 5

_**CHAPTER FIVE: IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?!**_

**Author's Note: I really had fun writing this chapter. For this I've borrowed two jokes from the show Scrubs as some of you will see.**

Raj stormed out of the theater followed by Clam. Raj was furious at his failed photo shot. "I can't believe it, all of that hard work, for what?!" He looked down at his camera and said, "You stupid piece of-!" He was cut off by Clam, who was pointing at two familiar figures in the distance. "Look, near Beef Lumberjacks!"

Beef Lumberjacks was a well known restaurant in Prickly Pines. It is owned and operated by a large bear in green flannel. And he takes the word lumberjacks seriously, by cutting the beef up with a chainsaw!

Raj grabbed his fake glasses and slipped them on, and told Clam to do the same and follow him. Clam groaned at the fact that he again had to wear the glasses that were tight in his large nose. "Uncomfortable!" he yelled. Raj turned around and said, "Clam we don't have time for any of your clothing difficulties. Now let's go!"

Meanwhile, Lazlo and Patsy had just gone inside of the restaurant and presented their door man with their free passes. And just like the movie theater, Lazlo offered the next two seats for the next two children. As Lazlo and Patsy made their way to their seats, they noticed a man eating very sloppily and using absolutely bad manners at the table.

"Ugh, can you believe that guy?" Patsy asked. Lazlo responded, "I know, I mean who in the right mind would behave like that while eating around others?" Patsy nodded in agreement, of course they were both wrong about that…

**LAZLO'S FLASHBACK**

_In Camp Kidney's mess hall, the campers were forced to have Chef McMueslie's "Celery and Brocoli Cabbage Surprise." But at least there were other edible items on the menu for lunch. As Edward walked to the table that had Chip and Skip, he passed Jelly Cabin's table, pause and said to them, "Don't tell me you idiots are doing your stupid Siamese twin thing again…"_

"_Edward, I do believe you mean…" Lazlo said, as he was in the same shirt as Raj and Clam with their three heads coming out of the top, with Lazlo in the middle, with Raj and Clam's arms to the sides. "…the multi-species Siamese triplet camper." Clam yelled out, "Bite!" Raj's hand fed to Clam's mouth a nice and red apple, followed by him saying, "Mmm.. that's going straight to our joint colon... sip please!" Clam's hand poured white milk down Raj's throat with Lazlo and Clam giving a big relief sigh as they did it. Edward groaned and walked away._

**PATSY'S FLASHBACK**

_At Acorn Flats' mess hall, it was breakfast for lunch day and the three Squirrel Scouts that people care about were at a table enjoying themselves. As Gretchen got up to get more orange juice, Patsy and Nina have already came up with a great meal prank to pull on her. Patsy lifted one of Gretchen's pancakes as Nina sprinkled garlic and salt on top of the one underneath it. Then Patsy slowly put the pancake back down and pretended they did nothing as Gretchen came back…_

_She sat back down, took her fork and jabbed into the pancakes. She lifted a good sized piece and put it in her mouth. After chewing for a couple of seconds, she flinched, then suddenly, her eyes jolted open and she screamed with fire coming out of her mouth as she ran to the lake to get some water. Patsy and Nina followed, laughing their lungs out at what they just pulled off._

Patsy and Lazlo sat at their table looking at their menus, as Patsy said, "People just don't know how to behave anymore…" Lazlo responded, "You said it."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the restaurant, were two other Bean Scouts with their menus held up to cover their faces. Raj peeked over his menu and managed to spot the Bean and Squirrel couple. He already had a plan in action, his plan was to sneak into the air vents in the bathroom and find a place just above their table. From there he would be able to get a good snap shot of the couple.

"Alright Clam, I'm going to start Operation: Triangle of Confusion." Just as Raj was about to leave, Clam spoke up. "Eh, what about Circle of Confusion?" Raj stared back at him with an extremely confused look on his face. "What?" "Triangles are stupid, circles are awsome!" Clam responded with a sense of goofy joy. Raj moaned as he marched off to the bathroom.

Back at the other major table, Lazlo ordered a hamburger with coleslaw, fries, and a glass of Diet Professor Salt. Patsy meanwhile ordered the same thing, except with a small salad and a glass of water. As their waiter brought them their dinner, he told them, "Oh by the way, we're having a bit of a ketchup shortage. We only have one bottle left, so if you need it, call out 'ketchup!' and someone will throw it to ya now. Enjoy your dinner."

As the waiter left to continue his work, Lazlo and Patsy each shot a rather confused glance at each other, then they heard someone yell, "Ketchup!" And they both turned to see a flying bottle of ketchup head towards a man in a baseball coaching uniform, who then grabbed it and handed it to a group of young boys who have appeared to have been celebrating after a baseball game.

Patsy and Lazlo each gave a realization "Oh..." after seeing how this system works in front of them, but they had to try it for themselves. Patsy got up in her seat and yelled, "Ketchup!" And just like that, the baseball coach threw to her the bottle and she caught it. Amazed that it worked, she sat back down and squirted ketchup on her fries and burger; where she then handed it to Lazlo and he did the same. "Ketchup!" cried a woman just nearby, and Lazlo threw it to her.

Lazlo then looked up and said, "So Patsy, I know that you don't like to do any girly stuff, I just want to know, how come you hate girly stuff? I'm just curious."

Patsy replied, "It's not that I hate that sort of thing, it's just that... well... I feel I need to do my own thing. I mean, just because I'm a girl that doesn't mean I have to do a ton of girly stuff, except my hair of course."

Lazlo perked up after taking a sip from his drink and said, "That's almost exactly how I feel! I mean, with having the choice between fun and rules that is." Patsy was just about to continue with her conversation with him until she saw what the waiter was bringing for another customer. It was philly cheese steak! She flinched, but also knew that it was far away from her. Lazlo however noticed her shrivvling and eying the steak. _Is that what I think it is?!_

"Patsy, are you feeling alright? You're shaking again." Some yelled for the ketchup, and as it flew through the air, it bounced off a ceiling fan and it landed on the philly cheese steak platter. That in turn caused it to fly in the air and land just five inches from Patsy's feet. She shrieked, lept from the seat and dashed as fast as she could out of the restaurant.

Cheese, one of Patsy's greatest weeknesses. Unbelievable to most people, Patsy was allergic to cheese, just the smallest gram can cause her to bloat and cause uncontrolable drooling.

As Patsy ran for dear life, she caused tables and chairs to fly up in the air and one of the chairs hit the air vent, causing an elephant to fall out of it and land in a bin of garbage. It was none other than Raj, just as he was about to get a snapshot of the odd couple. Lazlo never noticed him however, as he dashed out after Patsy trying to catch up with her. "Patsy wait up!" he yelled.

Raj meanwhile slowly climbed out of the bin, with Clam watching from the other table with his mouth covered with barbeque sauce. With the restaurant looking like a tornado hit it, Clam yelled out, "Ketchup!"


	6. Chapter 6

_**CHAPTER SIX: "I SMELL A MONTAGE"**_

Patsy stormed out of the restaurant at nearly the speed of Mach One. She was soon followed by Lazlo, who told her, "I had no idea you were _that _scared of a cheese steak." Patsy was still panting from her self called "near bloated" experience, turned around, put another fake smile on her face, and replied, "Yeah well, the point is that it's behind us now. So what now?"

Lazlo looked around them, and he saw it: a poster with that read, "Carnival in Town." The monkey then got really excited and yelled, "I know! Let's go to the carnival. My parents always took me to one every August back where I come from." This must have really struck something deep within the mongoose, because she then had a real smile on her face, grabbed Lazlo by the wrist, and practically dragged him as fast as she could toward where the carnival was.

Unknown to both of them, Clam was watching them from the door of the restaurant, and he heard where they were going. As he walked out the door, he was followed by Raj, who was just getting the last bit of spaghetti out of his trunk. "They're going to carnival." He told him. Raj, in a panicked state, checked the camera to see if it was damaged, fortunately, it wasn't. "Well, as long as we can avoid anymore "accidents," we're bound to get a photo soon enough. Let's go Clam."

Clam sighed as Raj ran after the couple, and said to himself, "I smell a montage."

**(Now play the song "Dani California" by Red Hot Chili Peppers in this part. Every montage has to have music don't they?)**

The two different scout duos entered the carnival, each with a different kind of eagerness on them. Lazlo was excited to go to a carnival like the ones his parents took him to. Patsy was certain that a carnival was one of the most romantic spots to go to. Raj was ready to snap that shot he was looking for. Clam was just a huge fan of roller coasters.

Which was the first thing Lazlo and Patsy went to. As they sat near the front of the car, Raj and Clam sat near the back. However, nearly as soon as the car goes up the first hill, Raj begins to regret following them onto this ride, he was shivering, and his eyes were as wide as pancakes; but Clam couldn't be more excited. When the car started to go down the first, steep hill, Lazlo, Patsy, and Clam were having a blast; Raj meanwhile was screaming his heart out in absolute terror. To him, it was far worse than taking a ride with Clam on his log car earlier. When the car came back to the entrance area, Patsy, followed by Lazlo, ran off to get to their next destination. Clam meanwhile was trying to make Raj budge, since he was now practically glued to the seat.

The next ride was a smoother paced ride, the Ferris wheel. The good news for Raj was that the ride would move slowly enough for a good photograph. The bad news was that Raj and Clam were on the opposite side of the wheel from the Bean and Squirrel duo; thus further adding to Raj's frustration.

The next ride was another one of Clam's favorites: the bumper cars. Raj was standing outside of the gate and just about to snap the shot he was looking for, when Clam dragged him into a car; due to the fact that a kid his size couldn't go alone. And there was simply no way to get a photo with all the bumping going on. It was a wonder that the two main groups didn't see each other during the makeshift demolition derby.

**(The song stops)**

Lazlo was so excited to go to the next attraction, a laser tag arena. He told Patsy about what it's like back home, so he was pretty excited to finally show her what laser tag is Patsy on the other hand was happy to spend time with Lazlo period. "Come on, hurry Patsy, the carnival could close any minute!" Lazlo said excitedly. But before they could enter, a mysterious voice cried out, "Well, look who's here…"

**A/N: This story has returned from the grave!!!! Sorry about the extremely long wait, but I was busy with work and a writers block hit this story hard. But I'm pretty sure where I want this story to go now. Now review, I command you!!!**


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